Amanda MacMillan : Health.com
People who have a sense of purpose tend to care less about virtual thumbs-ups.Do you feel a rush every time a Facebook photo or status update gets a new “like” (and a little depressed when your posts are ignored)? The way you answer that question may reveal a part of your personality: people with a true sense of purpose are less likely to beemotionally affected by social media likes than those without, according to a new Cornell University study.
“Purposeful people noticed the positive feedback, but did not rely on it to feel good about themselves,” says Anthony Burrow, PhD, co-author of the study and assistant professor of human development at Cornell University.
Writing in the Journal of Experimental and Social Psychology,
Burrow and his co-author define a sense of purpose as a “self-organizing life aim that organizes and stimulates goals, manages behaviors, and provides a sense of meaning.” People with a strong sense of purpose tend to agree with statements such as “To me, all the things I do are worthwhile” and “I have lots of reasons for living.”
For those who had higher levels of purpose, on the other hand, self-esteem remained the same, on average, regardless of how many likes they got.
In the second study
For those who scored higher in purposefulness, number of likes had no effect on self-esteem.
This makes sense, says Burrow: Purposeful people have the ability to see themselves in the future, he explains, and act in ways that help them achieve their long-term goals. Therefore, they’re more immune to feelings of—or dependence on—immediate gratification.
The findings highlight the protective effects that having a purpose can have on a person’s mental health, he adds. While it’s nice to receive compliments, online or otherwise, it shouldn’t be your main source of pride.
“Otherwise, on days when you receive few likes, you’ll feel worse,” he says. “Your self-esteem would be contingent on what other people say and think.”
Instead, he says, it’s healthier to find confidence in more permanent aspects of your self-worth.
“You want to show up with rigidity: ‘I know who I am and I feel good about that.’” Research has suggested it may protect against heart disease and dementia, and may even help people live longer and take better care of themselves as they age.
But this is the first study to show that having a sense of purpose can also blunt the emotional impact of positive events, as well. This is an important part of the discussion, says Burrow, since staying even-keeled—through bad situations and good ones—may be more valuable to health and wellbeing, long-term. It may even help keep us from getting an inflated sense of confidence or reading too much into small victories.
“If a student takes a test,
gets a great score, you don’t want him to get a big head and back off—you want him to keep working and do better,” he says.
So how do you find your sense of purpose, if you don’t feel like your life is particularly worthwhile? There’s no solid research on what works best, but Burrow says that shifting your focus to the future—and really thinking about what you want that future to look like—is a good starting point.
